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All posts by paula


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“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships” S Covey

Yet, it seems we live in a time where people are trusting less and less.   We view our politicians, health service, institutions and companies with doubt and skepticism, with all their failings clearly documented and embraced for all to believe.  Circles of friends and families are being pitted against each other competitively under the unceasing scrutiny and all-seeing eye of social media. Framed by the fact that we ask Google to sum up whatever information we need instantly allowing us to become experts in any known field, blissful ignorance, simple living and blind leaps of faith seem to be a thing of the past. I truly wonder where this all is headed.

Therefore, forming real relationships at home and in the work place has become more challenging and yet more important than ever. Real human interaction and connection is not something that can be simulated, it is something that is earned, felt, worth cherishing and worth holding onto.

I have been in relationships in my life where trust was there and some, where trust was not.

So, what is the definition of “Trust” what is it….

Firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something”

 “Trust comes from a set of common values and beliefs”

 “Trust is a positive feeling”

 “Trust needs to be earned, it evolves over time”


Where trust was there……. I

Showed my real face

Felt comfortable to be me

Felt safe and accepted

Felt confident to take risks and experiment

Can speak my mind

Naturally worked through conflict

Felt valued and recognised

Felt listened to

Felt loyalty

Fully committed to the role and relationship

Held myself and others accountable

Shared a vision

Was happy and content

Felt like I belonged


Where trust was NOT there……. I

Felt suspicious and often paranoid

Felt judged and not up to scratch

Focused on my own survival

Became cynical, selfish and self-interested

Second guessed myself and others

Became an expert in what to say and what not to do, to survive

Focused on protecting myself

Felt demotivated

Lost focus and productivity

Felt not good enough

Was angry and disappointed

Was unhappy and discontent

Was always looking for a way out

Felt afraid


I often think that the biggest casualty of staying in or working in a relationship with low levels of trust is how much of our own positive personality we actually lose.  Stay here too long you won’t recognise yourself after a while.

Transfer this over to entire organisations where trust levels are low, the impact and drain is extensive and staggering. When we do not feel trust and as a result feel safe we will ultimately do things to damage and hurt the culture, the company and ourselves.

Research shows that only 49% of employees trust senior management, and only 28% believe CEOs are a credible source of information.

When trust is low, in a company or in a relationship, it places a hidden “tax” on every transaction: every communication, every interaction, every strategy, every decision is taxed, bringing speed down and sending costs up.   S Covey

In my experience not addressing a lack of trust, leaks time and money out of every area and action of the business. Compensating for poor behaviours, hidden agendas, siloed working and poor results, taking triple the amount of time to get things done.

In contrast, where high trust levels are in place something very different comes to light.   The very language used changes from “me” to “us”.   Communication, relationships and productivity soar allowing decisions to be made with increasing conviction and speed. People feel valued, recognised and part of something.

Achieving a real culture of trust is one of the biggest leadership challenges you will ever face and yet one of the smartest and most strategic ways to improve bottom line results.

I have been told numerous times from CEO’s across diverse industries that “Culture” “Trust” “Engagement of your People” “Feelings” is all a bit “WOOLY”

How Wooly does this look – A recent study showed that high trust companies outperform low trust companies by nearly 300%.

Speak with LALLO about our “Building a Culture of Trust” workshop, a great first step. Contact Paula on paula@livealifelessordinary.co.uk

Hope you enjoyed my second blog post. Speak soon.


The Gift of Relationships

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The Gift of Relationships

Welcome to my first ever blog post!  It only seems right to go back to the very start of where this all began.   Let me set the scene, a begrudging teenager of 17, a haunted room in Ballygally Castle and a Lebanese fortune teller.   I was dragged along to make up the numbers, sporting an engagement ring that did not belong to me, to trick the trickster I was about to meet.  She never even acknowledged the ring and spoke words that day that are still with me 26 years later.

“You have a special card, you have the gift of relationships”  – the card showed a boy and girl with the sun shining on them – “All your life you will have strong and meaningful relationships, this will be the key to your happiness”

I guess she was right, I have always been intrigued by people.  Naturally curious and always interested in learning more about who they are and makes them tick.  I tend to zone in on what I like about them, their strengths and their potential.  Or as my husband says ” You just like everyone Paula”  Maybe everyone deserves a chance to be liked.  Are we too quick to put people in boxes and construct walls and reasons for why we can never get along.

“The Us and Them”

“The high earners and those just getting by”

” The people we trust and those we avoid”

” The city slickers and the people from the countryside”

” The religious on one side of the wall from the other”

” There are those we share something with and those we don’t”

Yet it is these common threads in life that we ALL share.  Our circumstances, our sense of humour, our habits, our passions, our background, our behaviours and experiences all cross over and interweave to allow us to build bridges and connection with each other.   I don’t believe in personality clashes, I think regardless of how different we may perceive each other there is always room to learn and understand how to get the best from another person.  It just takes a little time, effort and the ability to listen without judgement.

Hence the LALLO business was born in 2012, from a passion from within.  A set of hands on resources strangely enough in the format of cards and board games that would help facilitate the process of getting to know another person www.livealifelessordinary.co.uk/shop

To understand someone else’s  “Core Personal Values” and their “Gremlins” also known as limiting self beliefs is a fantastic and highly effective way to understand why people behave the way they do, what they need to bring out their best and to be aware of their worst and how to help manage this.  To build trust with each other.   This is the starting point of any great relationship.

“TRUST is the GLUE of life. It’s the MOST essential ingredient in effective COMMUNICATION.  It’s the foundational principle that HOLDS all RELATIONSHIPS. S Covey

I hope you enjoyed reading my first blog. Speak soon Love P x

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